Thankfully this past week has been quiet, ordinary really, with the exception of a few really nasty letters from someone calling himself Hemera telling me I would pay for my sin. I can only assume it is somehow associated with the cult. I put them in the waste basket and tried to forget them, but it has not always been easy.

I’ve definitely decided to go ahead with the open day and have draw up copy for some leaflets which are now being printed. I’ve paying to have 500 done. I can’t expect the Silberay to pay, given the current state of our finances. I just hope they will get behind the idea because I’ve offered boat rides, tours of the building and afternoon tea and I certainly can’t do it all myself.

Because of the threat from the cult I asked Fylan and Teg if I could practise entering their minds. I need to be able to do it without them noticing and although I used to practise that with Nemle it has been quite a while and I’m not as confident as I was.

At first I couldn’t seem to find the way of it and had quite a few slaps from both of them, but the skill has returned to me now.

I had a nice ordinary morning working with my clay, but then some men from the cult came visiting. They couldn’t see me at first because I was on Day Bringer, but I had to go out and challenge them because they looked very furtive, creeping around the administration building.

They started to chant “burn witch” when they saw me. I didn’t want to use mind control, that would just have confirmed their opinion of me.

Nemle would have asked me what I have learned so I’m trying to understand. I know I was frightened, terrified would be a better word, and I’m quite proud that I don’t think I let them see it. The hard thing is that it was all my own fault. If I had not shared Day Bringer and the water dimension with Toby and Susan it wouldn’t have happened, but probably Tippa’s welding would not have happened either. Now I’m so confused I don’t know what to do for the best. No, that’s not true. I do know what to do but I’m frightened to do it. In general it might not matter that most people don’t recognise or understand the Silberay, but here at the Harbour it is important that our neighbours know us.

I hadn’t thought about people seeing us enter and leave the water dimension. I suppose I haven’t had to before. If they don’t know why it happens it isn’t surprising that they fear it.

I’m determined to go ahead with planning an open day at the Gathering, but I’m also going to practise using my mind to suggest rather than control. I used to do it with Nemle, but more recently I’ve been practising combat and control rather than subtleness. I’ll ask Fylan and the old ones if they will help. I’m sure the possibility that they can slap me down if they detect me will appeal. (Maybe I won’t ask Blin though!)

I think that is what they call it when you visit more than one pub in a day! Yesterday (Saturday) I decided I needed to walk. It was not a very nice day, but I’m heartily sick of sitting in an office and walking has always helped me to think so I didn’t let the rain put me off.

I wanted to see whether I could hear any of the rumours Susan had said were going around about the witch at the Harbour, and I thought perhaps the pub might be a useful start.

I went to the Cock and Hen first. It was full of men and I felt a bit uncomfortable on my own, but I found a stool at the bar and got myself a half of bitter shandy. It was Daniel who taught me to ask for that all those years ago and I really think of it as a summer drink, but I don’t much like beer undiluted.

At first I thought I was wasting my time, but then I did overhear a conversation that might have been referring to the Harbour and some kind of action to be taken against us.

I didn’t stay very long. It was still raining when I left but I decided not to take the bus. I wanted to walk and think about what I had heard. Then, when I reached the Wheatsheaf, I decided to go in there too. It would be my local if I had one.

Everyone seemed to stare at me when I went in, I suppose because most of the people knew each other. It was a bit embarrassing really, but I found a corner to hide in. It had a very different feel to the Cock and Hen, people were playing darts and couples and mixed groups were enjoying the warmth – much more of a neighbourhood pub I suppose.

I went to the toilet before leaving and a woman I had met before was in there. She remembered me and that I came from the Harbour. One thing she told me was quite disturbing. Apparently a neighbour of hers has a bedroom that overlooks the grounds and she has seen people appearing and disappearing. She easily could have and if she didn’t understand it would be very confusing. No wonder people are afraid of us.

The visit of the cult has really made me question the wisdom of planning an open day. A couple of things have helped me to at least think sensibly about it though.

The most important was a phone call from Kel. Just hearing his voice warmed me and steadied me. I always tell him he is my anchor. I wish he was closer, but his route at the moment is quite far from the Harbour and I don’t want him to skimp his work there just to come back for me.

Oddly enough, the other thing that helped was actually meant to unsettle me. Along with the post on Monday morning was a bunch of St John’s Wort. As well as being very useful medicinally, this also offers protection against witches (at least so Nemle taught me). I put it in water on my desk to show anyone interested that I am not the slightest bit disturbed by it.

I’m trying to think clearly and sensibly about the open day.

The main argument for holding it is that our neighbours might have a chance to get to know us, and of course we might get to know them too.

Another possibility is that it might lead to additional income if people become aware of the opportunity to rent a room or use the front lawn for playing games.

On the other hand it may also open us to the kind of abuse the cult used to frighten me. Susan came during the week and told me of rumblings she had heard about the witch at the Harbour.

What I need to remember is that there is always a cost. The important thing is to recognise the price and decide whether the gain is worth it.

In this case I have to think it is.

I was hoping for a couple of quiet weeks, just dealing with the post, answering letters, paying bills, filing receipts. Next month it will be much busier because the boats will start coming in for refits before the Gathering.

Susan came to visit, mostly to talk with the old ones and with me about what it means to be able to see the water, but she did tell me that our afternoon on the boat has led to problems for the boys, Jack especially, because he has been accused of lying about his experience. That hurts, I know. I remember how it felt when I was accused of lying about using the discipline of the mind all those years ago.

Anyway, it seemed the least I could do, to offer another afternoon and the opportunity for the children each to bring one friend.

I thought the afternoon had gone well. The children seemed to enjoy themselves, but I was conscious that three more families would be brought into contact with the water dimension. I didn’t expect quite the extent of the trouble it brought however.

One of the children came from a family that belongs to some kind of strict religious cult. Susan rang to warn me that the father was particularly angry that his son had been exposed to evil magic.

This afternoon I had visitors, the child and his parents and the cult leader.

It was horrible. He told me I was evil, shouted it at me, not just evil but a witch, a magician and even the devil. Then he started to curse me. I shut the door on him, shut and bolted it, but I could still hear his words, so filled with hatred.

I went out the back way and home to Day Bringer. At least I managed to get there before I started shaking.

I didn’t mean to call him, but suddenly, as I was fighting for control, Kel was there in my mind. He held me and we sang.

Mother and Father went home on Saturday last and Jik and Dom set out again too. Tippa’s blacking was finished so Jik thought he should go back to his assigned route. He has promised to come in early though, before the Gathering, so he can advise me.

Tippa is very happy with the blacking and pleased because Toby has done a great job of the welding on the counter. I know she cannot afford to pay for that as well as the new propeller, so I told her the Silberay would pay, despite our fairly desperate financial state. She has offered to spring clean the annex, ready for the Gathering instead. I wouldn’t have thought of it, but Mother did say the whole place looked rather uncared for, so Tippa’s offer is a real help.

I’d always thought she disapproved of me and although we were apprenticed at the same time we’ve never really been friends. Actually that is probably why. I was rather a show-off back then and I’m afraid Marheh the Great was often in evidence despite Nemle’s efforts to restrain me.

Anyway, we have actually been talking and getting on quite well. She did an amazing job cleaning the kitchen and invited me to eat there with her. She headed out this morning, Sunrise all fixed.

Tomorrow Toby is bringing his family for the promised boat ride. I’m quite looking forward to taking Day Bringer out for a couple of hours, though a bit apprehensive about my guests.

Quite a full day yesterday. Father and I took the bus into Sefton Middle to met the welder. At first he and Father seemed to be getting on well together, but then Father said something about me being Silberay. It was horrible. The welder, Toby, went pale and stepped back from me shouting to Father to get me away, as if I was poisonous. It really hurt, but I knew I had to leave for Father to have any chance of changing his mind.

I wandered into the centre of town trying to listen with my heart. Then I found a little corner out of the way where I could sing. It was hard to enter, I felt a bit vulnerable in the street and, if I’m honest with myself, I think Toby’s fear of me still hurt and that got in the way.

Lifting the song was hard too. There was no joy in the music that I joined and it was almost more than I could manage to modulate the drab tones.

Maybe I managed to offer a little light in the end, but I did not stay very long before heading back towards Toby’s workshop. I had not reached the lane where I needed to turn when I met Father and Toby coming towards me. Father must have done a lot of very persuasive talking. Although Toby still seemed to be afraid of me he had agreed to come back with us to the Harbour so that I could take him around and explain things.

In the end I think it was meeting Mother that really persuaded him to trust me enough to allow me to guide him onto Day Bringer with Mother and Father and take him for a little jaunt around the Harbour. It was so good to be at the tiller again even for such a short time.

After that it was obvious that Toby felt a lot more comfortable. He went along to the dry dock to look at Sunrise quite confidently and promised to come back on Monday with his tools and the plate that is needed for her hull.

I offered to make a time to take him and his family out onto the water road and he said he would like that. I wonder if his wife will agree.

A busy day yesterday. Father and Jik went over the accounts with me and confirmed what I knew. Disaster really! Dwindling capital, not much income and more expenses. I dread having to tell the Silberay.

Mother took herself for a wander and visited the old ones. I think she enjoyed meeting Fylan, but Blin’s comments about me made her uneasy. She says the buildings, especially the kitchen, are in need of attention before anyone would want to pay to use them.

Dom offered to cook for us all for the evening meal. I had to ask Tippa too, we couldn’t leave her to eat on her own. It would have been unkind. We dined in the flat since that offered the most room. As things turned out it was quite useful that Tippa was there. She was rather rude and disbelieving at first when I said we would be bankrupt in ten years if we didn’t change our ways, but when Father and Jik confirmed what I said she became quite supportive.

Jik has been really helpful to her, spending ages with her in the dry dock scraping down Sunrise‘s hull and I think she is disposed to be an admirer.

This morning I made an appointment to visit the welder today, after lunch. Father will come with me since he is not Silberay and so, hopefully, can understand and explain better than I can, why the boats disappear and who we are.

Mother and Father arrived yesterday and Jik brought in Sunrise with Tippa. It was lovely to see Autumn Wind come through the entrance. Jik was very formal and kept calling me Harbour Master while Tippa was present but I had a nice hug when I joined him and Dom on Autumn Wind for lunch.

In the afternoon we all worked to get Sunrise into the dry dock. They wouldn’t let me help very much but at least it got me out of the office for a bit. I felt for Tippa when we saw the state of the hull. I know it is her own fault, she has really neglected proper maintenance, but she was almost in tears which is very unlike her.

Jik and Dom have offered to stay and help her with scraping down the hull and doing the blacking, but I’ll need to find a welder urgently now because there are a couple of places around the edges of the counter that are going to need new plate welded on. The man who came last Gathering doesn’t want to deal with “disappearing boats and other weird stuff” again.

I was just going back to the office when Mother and Father arrived. Mek was snappy with me because I was not on the spot to greet them but he did take my work back for firing and agreed to bring me more clay when he comes back – not that I have much time to use it at the moment.

I took Mother and Father up to the flat and left them to settle in. I think they will be comfortable enough there. They came for supper on Day Bringer. They are quite used to being guided into the water dimension and enjoyed being able to see the harbour. I’ve promised to bring them again in daylight so they can see it properly.

Jik and Dom came for sperit after supper and listened politely while I whinged about my problems. Father and Jik have promised to look over the accounts this morning and check my figures and Mother says she will go for a wander and try to put herself in the place of the neighbours since she sees what they see.

It is nice to feel so supported.